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  • Jordan Avery

Oscillating Emotions

Updated: Sep 23, 2021

This whole process has been a wild rollercoaster of emotions. I hate to sound so cliché but it has been! It seems like I have had so many highs immediately followed by lows. If it weren't for God, then I swear I would've gone crazy many months ago.

As many of you know, if you've been reading my blog, the board of directors for Mercy Ships decided not to return to field service in Senegal until 2022. The news brought on so many feelings of sadness and doubt. Once again, just a week after being accepted, my plans and expectations were ripped away from me. I finally came to terms with it and began looking for a job a week or two ago.

I was so filled with doubt because I had already gone 4 months without so much as an interview. How was I going to find a job in this job market? Covid created so much job loss that there were so many seasoned workers out there. How could I compare? Well, needless to say I was trying to persevere while just trying to enjoy my day to day life.

Last Sunday I was just spending the morning with my mom and Grandma when the idea of a family BBQ dawned on them. Since we can have outdoor gatherings of up to 10 people it was going to work perfectly since Josh, my brother, was working and couldn't make it. Meaning we had exactly 10 people! So we made the plans and met up that evening for hot dogs and family time.

I think it was God that placed the thought in their head because while we were there we saw Art and Rachel Hildebrand. I know those names mean nothing to you, but for me, it meant a lot. I love every chance I get to chat with them. Art Hildebrand was the Pastor at my church when I was a child and I grew up in the church. They both were major role models for me, but I naturally gravitated to Rachel.

Well, needless to say when my mom and I saw them we went over to say hi. We got to chatting about each others lives and my mission came up in the conversation. I told them how I sold everything and gave up my place to move home for the two transition months. Then I said that I wished I hadn't done this since the mission was pushed to next year and I didn't know how I was going to cope with an additional 8 months of limbo. I told them that I was trying to find a job but was discouraged because the job market was so poor.

Without hesitation, Rachel suggested that they lay hands on me and pray for God to intervene. There is something powerful about prayer like that because the next day I got a call with a work from home job offer. It honestly startled me because it just started out as an interview but ended in a job offer. The owner of the company, who did my interview, said that he wanted to give me a shot. He thought that I was perfectly qualified for the job and I am just out of University so he wanted to help me kick start my career.

I started the job on Thursday last week and on Friday Mercy Ships sent me my offer letter with a start date of June 10. A whole new wave of excitement came over me. I have been waiting a month for this letter to find out when exactly I am leaving for my service. However, all that excitement was immediately taken away when I saw the date June 10.

Normally I would've been stoked to be leaving at the original time but the job was posing an issue. The position is a contract job that goes until July 31. I just signed the contract only days before I got the offer letter so I have already committed to it. But I committed to Mercy Ships long before that. I signed the contract in good faith since I thought I wasn't leaving till next year. Now that it's changed I am torn about what to do. Do I push my missions till after the contract is up and risk my position on board going to someone else? Or do I stay true to my heart and back out of a contract that I was excited about.

If only I could have both.

Well it has been about a week since I wrote this and already so much has changed yet again. I normally write out these posts and then let them sit for a little bit before I read them over and post. In this case I waited to also see if there would be any changes. I didn't think there would actually be one but lo-and-behold, everything has changed once again. This time it changed in the way I wanted to.

I was sent my updated offer letter at the end of last week and I am officially serving September 21. Meanin I am able to serve this year AND I get to finish this job!

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